Righting Wrongs

Had to right a wrong today. Drug cartel over ran a mall. Big mall. They were in the mood to shop but didn’t feel like paying. What a surprise. Those drug guys are serious jerks. Well, they picked the wrong day. True story, I was walking hard, on my way to pick out an outfit, well, leotard. They had a sale. Why a leotard? Don’t worry about it. I’m not in the swinger scene and the times I’ve done that whole group sex thing I was wearing a mask, duh.

Anyhoo, I’m on my way to get this leotard and then I had a serious work out planned (was going to wrestle this muzzled chimp they had problems with at this local circus) so these drug guys come into the mall guns a blazing and luckily I was wearing my machetes (that’s a spanish long-knife) in my boots. I pull them out start doing my machete-dance and let’s just say what was once drug cartel guys is now fuckin human ribbons. Sure, took them a long time to towel up the crime juice aka blood but that’s what happens when you send a man in to vanquish evil.

Anyway, I could go on but this blog isn’t about me telling U about what a hero I am. I’m NOT a hero even though that’s what a lot of people say and write about me in the press. I’m just a guy doing what comes naturally to him. Okay that’s it for today. Gotta go take my woman from behind.